Sorry I have been so out of touch, but I have had so much going on in my life. I am writing today only because I want to give you a brief update as to what has been happening lately since so much has happened since the last time I wrote. I know that this is going to be very brief, but please understand where I am coming from because after I tell you all that happened, you will understand why it is so short.
Unfortunately there has been a HUGE accident lately. I never thought that this could happen to me and I am now in the biggest battle of my life. I desperately need your help in any way that you can provide…. Such as support, friendship, donation, etc. because right now I am I the biggest battle of my life. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse… it can.
I guess I should stop stalling and spill the beans already. I have had an accident in the kitchen that has left me with a broken hip, femur, and pelvis. The doctors said that to get the fractures that I did… it is literally impossible. But because I am so sick already… anything is possible with me.
Who would have thought that Saturday would have ended up so badly? I was having such a good day too. I actually got ‘made up’ earlier that day with my hair and nails…, which is a rare occasion and even Scooby, had taken a bath and was groomed nicely. To top it off, I also met a great friend who suffers with one of the rare illnesses that I do! I felt on top of the world. However, that was going to change in a matter of hours.
When my parents came home from work, we were going to have lunch and what do you think happened? I was really happy for a change because of the wonderful day that I was having for a change and when I was coming for lunch, one of the dogs came running out of the kitchen and knocked me down like a bowling ball. It wasn’t Scooby, who is tiny and a little cockapoo. It was Max, my puggle that weighs almost as much as I do, as he weighs like close to 50 lbs.
Gosh if I can turn back the hands of time I definitely would. I would do anything not to have this. I am now in the biggest battle of my life because not only now do I have to overcome these fractures, but it has completely worsened and exacerbated my neurological disease/autonomic dysfunction). So I desperately need your help in getting donations because I desperately need treatments to save my life and we definitely cannot afford it. It is even at the point where I cannot even be left alone and we need money for aides and everything else. Everything is just horrible and I never thought it could get so bad,
After the fall, we went directly to the hospital. For me to say to ‘take me to the hospital,’ you know it had to be bad because I never ever go to the hospital because they cannot ever help me. But this time I had no other choice. I knew something was wrong. My dad wanted to call 911 and get an ambulance because I couldn’t get into the car, but I knew that would only leave me in a hospital that I would really be in bad shape at. So I knew that I would at the very least have to force myself into the car so that I could at least get to a somewhat decent hospital that could somewhat take care of me. There was no other choice.
Of course I brought Scooby with us. Scooby comes everywhere with me. He is my security dog and when I had him in the hospital, he made a world of difference. You can’t imagine how much he helped with the pain and how he helped me to do the stuff that was unbearable because I knew that I had to be strong for him and he was there to take care of me too . He is one amazing dog.
He is so smart, so well behaved, and so loving and caring. Everyone was shocked with how well behaved he was and how great of a dog he was. Everyone was calling him a ‘little teddy bear’ and coming to see him. He was really keeping me calm and he also knew where it hurt and protected me too. He was something else.
When the doctor came in, he said that I had broken my pelvis, hip, and femur and that the only thing that I could do is have surgery. He said that without surgery, I would be ‘bedbound’ forever. I knew that I couldn’t let that happen. So I knew that I had no other choice but to go through with the surgery. Yet, I am not in the best condition to undergo surgery, as my organs are shutting down and my bloods are a mess and so is everything else.
Before the doctor took me into surgery, my head surgeon conducted many consultations with other doctors in the hospital and with my other doctors as well because they didn’t know what to do because they knew how desperately I needed the surgery but they also knew how frail and fragile I was too. All the doctors told my head surgeon that if he takes me into surgery, I would never make it out. They all said I would die on the table. But, I didn’t have a choice… after all I went through in my life…I was not going to now be ‘bedbound!’ Whatever was going to happen was going to happen.
The docs tried for 2 days to pump me up with enough fluids and nutrients to try to give me the best chance to survive the operation. But they stated that they only had a 48-hour window for something like this so we had a deadline. On Monday, I was operated.
Dad and Scooby stayed in the hospital around the clock 24/7. I can’t thank them enough for all that they did. I couldn’t believe that they actually never left the hospital all the time that I was there. You can’t imagine the difference that made in me. Dad was there to constantly help me and Scooby did a wonderful job making me feel better. In fact, Scooby became the first dog to go into the OR and when I came out of the operating room, they even brought him into the recovery room for me. He never left my side. Everyone in the hospital got to know Scooby and came running all over the place to see him. He would be going outside and you would hear in the hallway… “There’s Scooby!” He became so popular that I was going to make him an Instagram page.
Scooby and dad also bonded a lot during this time. I never saw dad fall in love with a dog so much. Well after all, he did have to take care of him because I couldn’t. He had to feed him and take him out because I was not able to do so. Dad ended up teaching Scooby so many things when we were at the hospital because Scooby is such a fast learner. He would take Scooby on walks and come back to the room with news of something ‘new’ that Scooby has done like go up and down stairs.
Dad also learned a lot. He learned how to use hand signals and how to get Scooby to listen to him. He always was in awe of how his trainer would get him to listen and me too, but he couldn’t. So during the time we were in the hospital, dad also learned how to communicate with Scooby using hand signals and everything. So that was one of dad’s favorite things to do. He loved getting Scooby to listen to him and get him to do stuff like tricks and everything.
Omg… wanna hear something hilarious? When one of the doctors came into the room, the doctor was talking using his hands and he was actually making the dog go crazy. Scooby knows hand signals and with the ways that the doc was waving his hands, he was giving different hand signals to Scooby and making him go crazy. It was so funny.
This was the worst surgery you can ever imagine. Due to my complexity of situation, the docs didn’t really want to do it under general anesthesia because they thought it was too risky. So they did it under epidural and therefore, I was kinda up for it. OMG… I wanted to die. When I told my doctors about how it was under ‘epidural,’ my doctors said that this is the worst kind of surgery to have.
I wanted to die. This surgery hurt so bad. By the end of the surgery, I couldn’t take it anymore. When they were closing me up and stapling me closed, I was begging them to get out of there. It was so entirely painful. They placed over 50 staples in me and I am cut from the waist to the knee.
I am now officially the bionic woman. I have a rod in my thigh, screws, plates, etc. It never ends. Do you remember the toys known as KNEX? That is what I look like now. The doctor said that when they were putting the screws into me that it was like drilling into butter. I am so sick and weak that he compared my bones to butter. So even though the doc said it can’t happen most likely, I am scared that the screws are going to pop out.
I feel so helpless now. As much as I try… I feel defeated. I desperately need help and unfortunately a lot of it is going to depend on funds and treatments that we can’t afford. So if there is anything that you can do to help me, I would really appreciate it. Now besides having my neurological illness to take care of because my autonomic dysfunction has severely worsened, I have to deal with learning to walk all over again and move. I feel like a little baby trying to walk all over again.
Luckily I have my dad to help me because he has been carrying me to my bedroom and helping me a ton because we desperately need help, yet it all costs money… money that we don’t have. So he has been doing as much as he can in the meantime.
I have already fallen two times and thankfully those 2 times I haven’t down any significant damage. I get so scared when I fall because I am so afraid that all the hard work that I accomplished already is going to disappear and that I am going to have to do this all again. I would never and could never do this again.
In addition to learning how to walk and heal, I am also getting severe pitted edema. My legs are so heavy and full of water that I can barely lift them. In fact, that is why one of the times I ended up falling. The fall really exacerbated my neurological illness in such a way that I need ketamine and help in the worst way possible so that it could hopefully slow down and reverse whatever damage occurred. Time is of the essence with that too because the longer you wait… the less chance of that happening.
In fact, the disease has worsened so much and caused so much edema and lack of circulation that my legs look like ‘elephant’ legs. The docs freaked out right away about it because not only was it sooooo swollen but of course it was soooo discolored and blue and cold. It really showed lack of circulation. Even though I knew deep down that it was nothing but the autonomic dysfunction and neurolofica disease acting up, I still was nervous too. They all thought maybe I was having a clot and therefore, the doctors sent me the other day for a Doppler study to rule out a clot in my veins because that is something that could kill me instantly. Luckily, it was not that.
But never a dull moment. I am always hitting brick walls. My surgeon wants me to take a regular aspirin, which is 325 mg twice a day because they are scared that I am going to develop a clot since I am not moving as much, but on the other extreme, my other doctors don’t want me to take that because they said that I am going to perforate my stomach and that is going to be the last thing that we need. They rather me just go on a baby aspirin, which is 81 mg. twice a day. It is a big difference and I don’t know which is the right thing to do. Never a dull moment.
So I guess that is it. If you can please help me in any shape or form… whether it is through encouragement or donations, I would really appreciate it. I am really fighting for my life harder than ever and I need all the help and support that I need. I also need donations more than ever because I desperately need treatments more than ever. Not only do I have to get to the Cleveland Clinic to get my colon removed like before, but I now have to overcome this too.
I have to have many different types of treatments to overcome this disaster now too. So I am in even more hot water than before. Not only do I need physical treatments such as ketamine and everything else, but I also now need someone with me to stay at the house because I am not able to do by myself. At least before when I was sick I could still stay somewhat by myself. But now… it is literally impossible because I can’t even get in and out of a chair or bed without help. I have a wheelchair, a walker, and even a hospital bed in our living room. Who would even think I would be using a commode? I am just falling apart and I need help to get my life back together. I also need PT now and it just never ends.
Well.. I guess that will be it. I hope you can understand where I am coming from and I hope you will find it in your heart to help me. If you can please donate or pass word on that donations are desperately needed, I would really appreciate it. Please spread my link and help me at www.gofundme.com/help4Fallon. Any questions, please feel free to email me at Femirsky@gmail.com.