FALLON MIRSKY

Please help SAVE MY LIFE!

September 20, 2015

12002080_10101683496446610_2737980673093927629_nHi-

It has been some time since the last post and therefore, I figured that I would write a little and update you all on the latest that has been happening, as well as ask you for help/ideas because I desperately need so many things in order to get well and continue to stay alive and unfortunately we can’t afford it by ourselves.

Things have really been snowballing. One of the reasons I was suffering and dying before was because I couldn’t receive the lifesaving treatment that I desperately needed because I didn’t have the funds. However, now that I have had this accident, it has only made things worse because I need more treatments than before, and my illness has also been exacerbated because of it.

I really don’t want to be sick any longer, and I especially don’t want to die. Yet, I know that unless I get help from others it is not going to be anywhere in the cards that I will be able to get better. So I am only hoping that you will be able to help me whether it is by donating (there is no such thing is ‘too little an amount’ because even a dollar <$1> will make the hugest difference.’ I know that money is hard to come by and people l really don’t want to part with it because they need it too, but I can’t stop thinking that if people would just even give me $1, the world is so populated that it would add up quickly and I would be able to continue to receive the current treatments that I have been going for as well as be able to and also receive the life saving treatments that I desperately need. But like I said… I can’t do it without your help.

I have been trying so hard to get well but every time I try to get well… I keep hitting a brick wall. I just want to get well so badly because not only am I suffering so much with all that is happening, but I really want to regain my life back and live ‘normally’ like everyone else. There is so much that I was robbed of and I have so much that missed out on that I can’t wait to do it all.

I don’t want to sound like a ‘’beggar’’ for money, but I really don’t want to die. I have so much that I want to do and have so much that I haven’t done yet. I also have so much that I can give to others and to the world that my time here is not ready to be over. So if you have any ideas on how I can raise money or how I can get my story across, I would really appreciate it. I really don’t want to die and between being so ill before and with the accident exacerbating everything… I need help more than ever and NOW because I am seriously out of time!!! My insurance company also doesn’t pay for the aide (nurse) that has been staying with me and as a result, it has been costing us an arm and a leg. Yet, I am too ill to stay by myself and therefore, I also need this service as well. So as you can see the bills just keep adding up and up and we desperately need your help so we can continue with the current treatments and of course so I can get the treatments to save my life.

11233419_10101684851111850_5580505221127502952_oWell… I guess I should tell you how I have been doing lately. Scooby has been the greatest companion ever. He has been staying with me and keeping me company. He also has been great in helping to take the pain away. I can’t tell you enough how helpful he has been. I don’t think that I would have made it this far without him…let alone the operation and hospital. I still can’t believe that the surgeons let him into the operating room and recovery room with me.

Scooby is the absolute greatest dog. He was the first dog ever to go into the operating and recovery room. The doctors were like “this is a first!” I never thought in my wildest dreams that they would have allowed him into the room. But I guess with everything that I am going through, they wanted me to be as ‘comfortable’ as possible. I must say though… to be honest… it really made a significant difference.

I think the doctors let him into the operating room and recovery room because they knew how sick I really was and they wanted to make me as ‘comfortable’ as possible especially since all the doctors in the hospital and even my current doctors were telling the surgeon ‘not to operate on me because I would die during the surgery or even if I made it through the surgery… I would never recover!’ I really was and am so very sick, fragile and unstable and therefore nobody thought that I would survive this major surgery. After all, my organs are failing including my major organs such as my heart, my bloods are horrible, my weight is only in the 60s, etc. But I can’t thank my surgeon enough for not listening to them and going with his heart and helping me. I am so glad that he took the chance and operated because if he didn’t, I would have been bedridden the rest of my life and that was the last thing that I wanted.

After all that had happened with me with these illnesses, there was no way I was going to be bedridden for whatever time I had left. I rather have taken the chance of dying than to end up confined to a bed. But this operation was going to be a major operation for anyone (even the normal person), so you can only imagine how much worse it was on me. After all, I broke my hip, pelvis, and femur.

With my condition being the way it is, the doctors tried to make me as strong as they could prior to operating. They only had a 48 hour timeframe before they couldn’t operate so we really on the clock. So during this time they tried to pump me with has much nutrients and bloods as possible to try to make me as strong as possible to survive the surgery. In addition, when I had the surgery, I was not able to go under general anesthesia like a normal person because it was too dangerous with all my complications. So this surgery was real hell because I was up for it and only given an epidural. Then you wonder why they allowed Scooby into the operating room and recovery room.

11958251_10101674833058110_1348539060937095946_oWhen I tell doctors that I was up for the surgery and only given an epidural, they really feel for me. They say it is the ‘worst’ surgery to have and to be up for it… it’s a killer. I still can’t believe I made it through that operation. As soon as I was able to talk, the first thing that I said was “Get the F*** out of my leg!” I never felt pain so badly. Even though I was up during the operation, they really couldn’t make out what I was saying until they were stapling/sewing me up. But boy… when they could understand me… I was screaming for them to get out. It was sooo painful!!

All I wanted was to see Scooby when I was in the operating room and recovery room especially after I was able to hold him. But as soon as they were done, they brought him right to me (just like a mom got her baby after giving birth) and I was able to hold him. They brought him into my arms and let him lay on the bed with me. I was so relieved. I never thought they would have allowed him into the recovery room like that especially when there were so many patients around also recovering. But Scooby really behaved himself and I really have to say that he made such a huge difference. He really helped with the pain even though I was still in tons of pain. I know that if I didn’t have him… it would have been so much worse!!

Scooby stayed the entire time (the full 2 weeks) in the hospital with me. Everyone got to know him and he became like a celebrity there. In fact, Scooby knows all hand commands and one time a doctor came in and was talking by also waving his hands and as a result, Scooby was going kinda nuts. The doctor asked, “What is wrong with him?” I had to explain to the doc that he is using his hands to talk and Scooby is just following his hands because he knows hand commands.” It really was funny. Not only did he become the most widely known person/dog in the hospital because everyone knew him and asked for him, but even the doctors would come into the room and first say hello to Scooby before checking me out. Scooby was so popular in the hospital that everywhere he went you heard “There’s Scooby!!”

12002564_10101684849594890_1176039086314648181_oScooby really is a special dog. He helped me in the hospital, and he continues to help me now. When I go to Physical Therapy, he goes with me. Everyone loves him there and he even actually helps me doing my therapy believe it or not. Scooby also turned 6 months old and he is so smart for just being a little pup!  However, little does he realize that this week he is losing his manhood!  Someone is going to be neutered.

I have really been pushing myself to try to get well. I don’t want to be sick and want this behind me already. So I have been trying so very hard to walk and bend my knee and be back to my old self. But unfortunately, not only do I have to recover from this operation, but also it has really exacerbated my neurological illness and therefore I have to deal with that as well. Therefore, the pain is worse than it should be, my leg has such pitted edema and they look like elephant legs because they are so fat (they are so filled up with water that they weigh so much that I can’t lift them), and the discoloration is horrible (they are turning black and feel like I am being strangled to death. The doctors already were nervous that I had a clot in my legs and ruled that out). Although the pitted edema is getting better, I still have a long way to go.

I just want to get better so badly that the doctors say I am ‘pushing to fast.’ I have already fell a couple of times and thank goodness I haven’t broken anything. I am so scared that something happened when I fell, but thankfully nothing has. I just want this all behind me already!!

I am having a problem with knowing that I have rods, screws, nails, and plates in me. I get so fearful of them and the doctors think that I am thinking too much of them. I am so afraid that something is going to happen with them, but the doctors said that I need to not think of those pieces in me. They say I just have to think that they are part of me. It’s hard to do that especially when they said to me and my dad that when they were operating that drilling screws into my bones was like drilling into butter.”

The PT people call me WOLVERINE now. I have had many nicknames such as “Energizer Bunny” because I keep going and going and nothing gets me down. But now they call me WOLVERINE because I am sooo strong with all the hardware that they put in me that I can’t break. The doctors literally drilled out my entire femur in the center and inserted a metal rod through the core. So I have a really strong left leg because the bone is around the rod and then I have plates and screws too. They call me that because its to get me over me thinking that I am so weak and going to break if I move because I am so scared that something is going to happen to the hardware.

12003253_10101680110147780_1794890129460331441_nWanna hear something? I know this sounds bizerkus but it is soooo true. The PT end up putting this tape on me that really helps with the pain and helping me with the edema and making my walk more stable. I know it sounds weird how a piece of tape can do something like this, but it does. It has something to do with how they place this ‘magic’ tape and it really works. It’s amazing.

Besides that… nothing is really doing besides that. I am just trying to basically recover. My bloods have fallen further and even my blood count has fallen as well. I found out that this is partially due to the surgery because I lost a lot of blood during it.

I have so many appointments and treatments to undergo each week. Between Physical therapy 3 times a week because they are trying to break the scar tissue up and keeping me as limber as possible, going for ketamine every week, and going for surgery every week to clean out my intestines they don’t rupture and I don’t go into sepsis… there is never a dull moment. I need to have physical therapy because if scar tissue builds up and they don’t bend my knee (which I can’t bend right now), then I will also end up looking like a chicken leg. I also have to have my intestines cleaned nothing moves and if I don’t have them cleaned… toxins will continue to build up and I also risk rupturing my intestines and going into sepsis. I still need to go and have my colon removed, which would have been done if I didn’t have this accident happen.

My doctors can’t believe that I made it through the surgery and I am recovering. They never thought that I would. But… nothing gets me down. I am like the Energizer Battery… I keep going and going and going. Now I just have to get better so I can walk and get over my illnesses.

So I am really hoping that you will help me achieve that. Please help me get my message across because I desperately need help in receiving treatment that will not only get me better, but it will save my life. I also need help just in my current living situation such as having an aide because I can’t stay myself since I need so much help especially now, but unfortunately we can’t really afford it anymore and my insurance company isn’t helping. Insurance is great when you don’t have to use it.

So if you can please spread this message and tell others of my donation site (www.gofundme.com/help4Fallon), email me (femirsky@gmail.com) and let me know of any ideas that you can think of in getting to raise money for treatments, or even if you can personally make a donation, I would really appreciate it. Remember, no donation is too small and any amount (even $1) is much appreciated!!

Well… until next time. Thanks again for all your support and encouragement and prayers. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate it. It really has and does make a huge difference.

– Fallon

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September 6, 2015

11924820_10101653067022420_8679260647875515605_oHi-

I haven’t written in a while and I thought that it was time for an update on all that has been happening especially since so much has been occurring and life has been so much harder than usual. I am in the biggest fight for my life right now because not only am I battling this war with this life-threatening illness that desperately needs a turnaround as soon as possible because I am like a ticking grenade ready to explode, but I now have this added problem of having a broken hip, pelvis and femur that not only debilitates me but makes my illness so much worse and also jeopardizes my health. Never a dull moment when it comes to me.

Gosh. I can’t believe how I can never catch a break. There is always something going on and it just continues to get worse and worse. It is bad enough that I need so much help from others to save my life from the life-threatening illness that I was suffering from before all this happened with my hip, but now I need even more help from others because of this stupid disastrous accident.

I can’t believe insurance companies. You pay so much for health insurance and yet, it pays for absolutely nothing when you really need then. It is like they don’t care that you are going to ‘die’ as long as they can save a dollar. It just isn’t fair. Unfortunately now with everything going on now with my hip, femur, and pelvis, I desperately need your help because I need treatments for this now as well, which I cannot afford nor is it covered by my insurance. I also need a home nurse that we can no longer afford, and I fear that I will really die without the home nurse because of all the complications that are arising. I never thought it could get this bad.

As I told you in a previous blog, I ended up falling and breaking my hip, femur and pelvis. The way I fractured these bones is like an impossible fracture to be done all at once especially from the fall I had, but due to my illness and how poor my bones are… anything is possible. As a result, I ended up having to go for emergency surgery and had to have plates, screws, nails, and even a rod placed in me. It was a huge surgery and due to my illness and how poor my health is already, the surgeons had to keep me awake during the surgery. Oh my gosh was it such a terrible surgery. When I tell my other doctors about how I was awake during the surgery and how I all had was an epidural, they can’t believe it and say how I am such a ‘trooper’ because I have heard from multiple doctors that this is one of the worst surgeries to have and it was made even worse because I was up.

Never again do I ever want to go through this again. Thank goodness when I broke my hip the first time a couple of years ago that I was able to recover without surgery. I was on complete bed rest for like 2-3 months and thankfully I healed. The doctors were so relieved because they didn’t want to operate due to my illness and current condition because they knew how dangerous it was for me to have the surgery even back then (about 5 years ago). They didn’t know if my body would take the surgery because of how frail and skinny I was and everything. But luckily being on bed rest for all that time saved me from having to go through surgery. Thank goodness I was so ‘light’ too because I was able to have my dad carry me around because I couldn’t walk. It was the one time weighing so little was in my favor.

But unfortunately this time I wasn’t so fortunate. I had no other choice but to have the surgery because I would be completely bedridden for the rest of my life if I didn’t have it. So even though I knew this surgery was such a big risk and even though all the doctors were telling the surgeon that I would probably not make it off the table and I would never recover if I did make it through the operation, I knew that I had to chance it because I didn’t want to be bedridden for the rest of my life. After all that has happened to me… this was the last thing that I would want. So I had to chance it and whatever happened will happen.

Well surprise surprise. Look who made it through the surgery and is still here. I am such a fighter and the doctors can’t believe it. However, now that I made it through the surgery, I am in the biggest fight for my life now because I have to recover, which I cannot do without your help. Not only is this recovery hard in general, but it is made so many times harder when you suffer from the illnesses that I already suffer from because the neurological illness and autonomic dysfunction make my nerves stay on autopilot and give me so much pain. It really causes me severe pain, pitted edema, and stirs up the autonomic dysfunction badly. One thing just triggers the other thing off. I also have really bad circulation and I am risk of losing my leg because it is depriving my leg and the tissues in it of blood and oxygen. I am just a mess. Then because of the extreme gastroparesis I can’t absorb the nutrients that I need to heal, which is a major problem as well.

To make matters worse, I have a huge bedsore on my butt because of sitting/laying on it. It is so bad and the doctors are extremely worried about it. They are so scared that the bone is going to come through. I have no fat on me whatsoever and therefore, my tailbone protrudes which caused the bedsore. Then when I have to move such as to get in and out of bed or even to adjust myself, I end up spinning on it like a top because it sticks out like a horn or a tip to the top. You know?

I have been having Physical Therapy at home too during this time because I need to break up all the scar tissue, learn how to walk again, and stretch out the leg and hip and everything. Oh my goodness I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be. All I want to do is bend my knee already and it is so hard and impossible to do. So it also makes sleeping impossible because I always sleep in the fetal position and since I can’t bend my knee, I can’t sleep like that. In addition it makes sitting in a chair and getting up in a chair even harder too because I can’t bend my knee. It is like I feel like I am all taped up and I have sticks that are unbendable in my leg.

So the PT has been trying to bend it and break this ‘stick’ feeling. It is so hard because I literally see stars.   The first time she did it, I gave her such a scare because I looked like I was going to pass out. I have a high tolerance of pain and I keep pushing myself to the max because I know that if I don’t push than I am going to end up looking like a chicken leg (all stuck in that position) because the scar tissue will build up. So I have to push through it. I have a motto that I go by, “Pain today means more limber and better tomorrow!”

But this first time really gave her a huge scare that she wanted to call an ambulance. I was like, “Under no circumstances no 911.” I said it because I knew that if I had an ambulance called that I would end up going to the closest hospitals, which are such horrible hospitals. However, I found out that I am now part of a program that if anything should happen to me and I need to get an ambulance to a hospital, I can call for a certain ambulance (which is not private and called North Shore Ambulance) and they will take me to any hospital I want whether it be LIJ or Manhasset. Those are much better hospitals than the ones by house. We even have a joke with the hospitals by my house, as we say, “you check in but you don’t check out!”

IMG_0735I also recently went for blood workup and my bloods are worse than ever. My organs are failing worse than before. I am anemic, my hemoglobin and RBC are very low, my pancreas is inflamed, and my liver is giving me problems. I found out also that from this surgery that I lost a good amount of blood too. To complicate matters more, I have severe pitted edema still. My legs will literally swell up and they are so painful.
I also found out that whIMG_0747en I get into a lot of pain my entire body goes like it is going to die. I get the chills like crazy and I feel so weak. I don’t know why this is the case or why once I get the pain medicine in me and the pain alleviates that I warm back up and regain my strength and composure.
11953177_10101658267690240_1464633348457082424_nI have been busy going for my ketamine treatments.  After all, I desperately those treatments because ketamine is hopefully holding my neurological disease under control. My disease would be spreading like a wildflower (even faster than now) if I wasn’t having the ketamine.  That is why I need to get to Mexico.  Since my case is so severe, the amount of ketamine that I require is way too great than FDA approved in the US.  Therefore, in Mexico, I would be able to be placed in a coma and given that amount of ketamine that I need– essentially shutting the body down & giving it time to “reset” the nerves, brain and spinal cord. Patients are supported by a ventilator and monitored in the ICU.  It is my goal to get there, as it will potentially ‘cure’ me, but as of right now we cannot afford it because it costs close to $100,000.  So we are stuck going for the ketamine here in the US and hopefully the littler amount even though it won’t ‘cure’ me, it will at least stop or slow down the progression of the illness.

I have also been having a nurse stay with me everyday. I would never be alive today if it wasn’t for her. There is no way that I can stay by myself and with all that is happening to me, I desperately need her help. My parents obviously have to work and therefore, I need someone to stay with me since I am basically helpless.

11224848_10101666676399120_619847044199447606_oBesides her helping me with the dressings for my wounds and such from the actual surgery, I also have this huge bed sore that needs attention to. They are so scared that the bedsore is going to get infected or the bone is going to pop through. We have been putting various types of treatments on it, but it is a stage 3 bed sore. A stage 3 bed sore occurs when a full layer of skin is destroyed. A stage 3-bed sore pressure sore or decubitus ulcer extends into the underlying subcutaneous tissue layer, but not all the way to the bone. This subcutaneous tissue layer has a relatively poor blood supply and can be difficult to heal. A stage 3 bedsore reaches, but does not go through, the muscle.

But I desperately need your help. Unfortunately my insurance company will not pay for my nurse and I cannot be without her. I will literally die without her because I cannot be left home alone especially when I am so helpless, I can’t get in and out of bed, I can’t really do for myself, and I need my dressings changed. Just from the surgery I had over 50 staples and even though it is about a month after I had the surgery, my wounds are still not healed. I can’t heal like a normal person so it complicates things and takes me longer. Even the stereo strips that are supposed to fall off when you are ‘healed’ are still on me.

I also need the nurse because I need help with this bedsore before it gets worse. I was already told how it can easily get infected or how it can literally takeover my entire butt. I really can’t have that happen. If you have any suggestions or secret remedies to get rid of bedsores, please let me know. It is really urgent and important. You can email me at femirsky@gmail.com.

But as I stated before, my insurance company will not pay for the nurse to stay with me and even though we have managed to pay for her up until now, there is no way we can continue to pay for her because it comes out to close to $1000 a week. I desperately need help with the funds because my parents can’t take off work to care for me and I cannot be left alone.

In addition, my insurance company only pays for so much. All the bandages that I needed I ended up having to pay for completely as well, which were not cheap either. The insurance did cover some of the bandages, but by the time they give the authorization and approve it, it is already too late because I need the stuff already. They take such a long time to approve the very few stuff that they do pay for that I am stuck paying for it ahead of time because I need it and can’t live without it.

Besides that, I also have to pay for my treatments as well. However, even with the few treatments that they do cover, I still have to pay the copayments as well and since I am going through so many types of treatments because they are greatly needed, the money is just going out the window like crazy because even the copayments are not cheap and add up very quick on top of everything else.

I hate to be a crier or a beggar, but I desperately need your help. I am trying to recover the best that I can, but everytime I try… I keep hitting a brick wall. I keep trying to pick myself up and continue on, but its literally getting impossible. Without getting the help from others so I can continue my current treatments and be able to have my nurse… I can say one thing for sure is going to happen… I am going to be down for count for good. So please help.
Any help that you can give would be much appreciated. If you can please donate or pass the word on… I would really appreciate it. Please help me because it is bad enough I am in battle with my life-threatening neurological illness, which is being made worse and worse each day because any time there is trauma to my body it spreads my illness and exacerbates it immensely, which is something I definitely can’t afford because I am walking a tight rope already that is ready to snap. The doctors are already upset that I am not getting to the Cleveland Clinic to have my colon removed and removed because it is desperately needed, as my intestines are paralyzed and I can literally rupture my intestines or go into sepsis because everything is that I intake (meds and food) are just sitting in my intestines. But unfortunately I have to recover from this hip/femur/pelvis surgery first before I can do anything else. Hopefully I will make it.

So we are trying to do whatever we can to save my life. But like I said before… I desperately need your help. Please help me. If you want to donate or spread the word, the link is www.gofundme.com/help4Fallon.

In the meantime, I have been trying to keep myself busy and keep my head above water. The pain has been so intense that I am also trying to keep myself busy so I don’t have to feel it. So I have been trying to do some reading and coloring and playing some iPad. I am reading a book from my favorite author right now, which is called FINDING AUDREY by Sophie Kinsella. It is a really good book. I can’t wait to read her new book that is coming out in October called SHOPAHOLIC TO THE RESCUE because I read the whole series and love it. I also want to read and have gotten the new STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS book. I am such a STAR WARS fan and can’t wait to seethe movie. I saw the new toy that is out, which is the robot (BB-8 Droid) that works by the phone, voice, etc. and it is something that I definitely want. It looks so cool, but of course it is too expensive. When I was younger I ended up buying this robot because I thought it would do so much for me and thought it would be really cool and awesome to have… only to find out it was a complete dud. My mom will never let me live it down that I thought that the robot was going to do so much for me.

My mom is trying to keep my spirits up. She just bought me this gummy worm that is supposedly 3 feet in length. Can you imagine? I can’t. So she said that she was going to get it for me. It is also supposed to be 4000 calories so maybe as an added bonus of besides it being so cool and everything… I will be able to gain some weight.

11900102_10101666903014980_1871221040620096638_oDad’s birthday is this week and I really want to make it special for him especially after all that he has done for me. He is really my best friend, hero, and my world. I definitely wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him. He is my rock and I really want to get better the most for him.

11885661_10101656119999230_4675645880702199674_oScooby has been so tired taking care of me. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have him. He really makes me feel so much better. I love that dog so much!!

Well… I guess that is about it. I am trying to do my best to get better, but this is extremely difficult… especially when you are so weak and fragile to begin with and you have horrible life-threatening illnesses to begin with too. I really just can’t catch a break. But like I said before, any help that you can give me would be much appreciated. Please help me because I can’t do this without your help. I desperately need treatments and I desperately need to have my nurse. Please donate and please spread my donation link at www.gofundme.com/help4Fallon.

Love,

Fallon

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