It has been some time since the last post and therefore, I figured that I would write a little and update you all on the latest that has been happening, as well as ask you for help/ideas because I desperately need so many things in order to get well and continue to stay alive and unfortunately we can’t afford it by ourselves.
Things have really been snowballing. One of the reasons I was suffering and dying before was because I couldn’t receive the lifesaving treatment that I desperately needed because I didn’t have the funds. However, now that I have had this accident, it has only made things worse because I need more treatments than before, and my illness has also been exacerbated because of it.
I really don’t want to be sick any longer, and I especially don’t want to die. Yet, I know that unless I get help from others it is not going to be anywhere in the cards that I will be able to get better. So I am only hoping that you will be able to help me whether it is by donating (there is no such thing is ‘too little an amount’ because even a dollar <$1> will make the hugest difference.’ I know that money is hard to come by and people l really don’t want to part with it because they need it too, but I can’t stop thinking that if people would just even give me $1, the world is so populated that it would add up quickly and I would be able to continue to receive the current treatments that I have been going for as well as be able to and also receive the life saving treatments that I desperately need. But like I said… I can’t do it without your help.
I have been trying so hard to get well but every time I try to get well… I keep hitting a brick wall. I just want to get well so badly because not only am I suffering so much with all that is happening, but I really want to regain my life back and live ‘normally’ like everyone else. There is so much that I was robbed of and I have so much that missed out on that I can’t wait to do it all.
I don’t want to sound like a ‘’beggar’’ for money, but I really don’t want to die. I have so much that I want to do and have so much that I haven’t done yet. I also have so much that I can give to others and to the world that my time here is not ready to be over. So if you have any ideas on how I can raise money or how I can get my story across, I would really appreciate it. I really don’t want to die and between being so ill before and with the accident exacerbating everything… I need help more than ever and NOW because I am seriously out of time!!! My insurance company also doesn’t pay for the aide (nurse) that has been staying with me and as a result, it has been costing us an arm and a leg. Yet, I am too ill to stay by myself and therefore, I also need this service as well. So as you can see the bills just keep adding up and up and we desperately need your help so we can continue with the current treatments and of course so I can get the treatments to save my life.
Well… I guess I should tell you how I have been doing lately. Scooby has been the greatest companion ever. He has been staying with me and keeping me company. He also has been great in helping to take the pain away. I can’t tell you enough how helpful he has been. I don’t think that I would have made it this far without him…let alone the operation and hospital. I still can’t believe that the surgeons let him into the operating room and recovery room with me.
Scooby is the absolute greatest dog. He was the first dog ever to go into the operating and recovery room. The doctors were like “this is a first!” I never thought in my wildest dreams that they would have allowed him into the room. But I guess with everything that I am going through, they wanted me to be as ‘comfortable’ as possible. I must say though… to be honest… it really made a significant difference.
I think the doctors let him into the operating room and recovery room because they knew how sick I really was and they wanted to make me as ‘comfortable’ as possible especially since all the doctors in the hospital and even my current doctors were telling the surgeon ‘not to operate on me because I would die during the surgery or even if I made it through the surgery… I would never recover!’ I really was and am so very sick, fragile and unstable and therefore nobody thought that I would survive this major surgery. After all, my organs are failing including my major organs such as my heart, my bloods are horrible, my weight is only in the 60s, etc. But I can’t thank my surgeon enough for not listening to them and going with his heart and helping me. I am so glad that he took the chance and operated because if he didn’t, I would have been bedridden the rest of my life and that was the last thing that I wanted.
After all that had happened with me with these illnesses, there was no way I was going to be bedridden for whatever time I had left. I rather have taken the chance of dying than to end up confined to a bed. But this operation was going to be a major operation for anyone (even the normal person), so you can only imagine how much worse it was on me. After all, I broke my hip, pelvis, and femur.
With my condition being the way it is, the doctors tried to make me as strong as they could prior to operating. They only had a 48 hour timeframe before they couldn’t operate so we really on the clock. So during this time they tried to pump me with has much nutrients and bloods as possible to try to make me as strong as possible to survive the surgery. In addition, when I had the surgery, I was not able to go under general anesthesia like a normal person because it was too dangerous with all my complications. So this surgery was real hell because I was up for it and only given an epidural. Then you wonder why they allowed Scooby into the operating room and recovery room.
When I tell doctors that I was up for the surgery and only given an epidural, they really feel for me. They say it is the ‘worst’ surgery to have and to be up for it… it’s a killer. I still can’t believe I made it through that operation. As soon as I was able to talk, the first thing that I said was “Get the F*** out of my leg!” I never felt pain so badly. Even though I was up during the operation, they really couldn’t make out what I was saying until they were stapling/sewing me up. But boy… when they could understand me… I was screaming for them to get out. It was sooo painful!!
All I wanted was to see Scooby when I was in the operating room and recovery room especially after I was able to hold him. But as soon as they were done, they brought him right to me (just like a mom got her baby after giving birth) and I was able to hold him. They brought him into my arms and let him lay on the bed with me. I was so relieved. I never thought they would have allowed him into the recovery room like that especially when there were so many patients around also recovering. But Scooby really behaved himself and I really have to say that he made such a huge difference. He really helped with the pain even though I was still in tons of pain. I know that if I didn’t have him… it would have been so much worse!!
Scooby stayed the entire time (the full 2 weeks) in the hospital with me. Everyone got to know him and he became like a celebrity there. In fact, Scooby knows all hand commands and one time a doctor came in and was talking by also waving his hands and as a result, Scooby was going kinda nuts. The doctor asked, “What is wrong with him?” I had to explain to the doc that he is using his hands to talk and Scooby is just following his hands because he knows hand commands.” It really was funny. Not only did he become the most widely known person/dog in the hospital because everyone knew him and asked for him, but even the doctors would come into the room and first say hello to Scooby before checking me out. Scooby was so popular in the hospital that everywhere he went you heard “There’s Scooby!!”
Scooby really is a special dog. He helped me in the hospital, and he continues to help me now. When I go to Physical Therapy, he goes with me. Everyone loves him there and he even actually helps me doing my therapy believe it or not. Scooby also turned 6 months old and he is so smart for just being a little pup! However, little does he realize that this week he is losing his manhood! Someone is going to be neutered.
I have really been pushing myself to try to get well. I don’t want to be sick and want this behind me already. So I have been trying so very hard to walk and bend my knee and be back to my old self. But unfortunately, not only do I have to recover from this operation, but also it has really exacerbated my neurological illness and therefore I have to deal with that as well. Therefore, the pain is worse than it should be, my leg has such pitted edema and they look like elephant legs because they are so fat (they are so filled up with water that they weigh so much that I can’t lift them), and the discoloration is horrible (they are turning black and feel like I am being strangled to death. The doctors already were nervous that I had a clot in my legs and ruled that out). Although the pitted edema is getting better, I still have a long way to go.
I just want to get better so badly that the doctors say I am ‘pushing to fast.’ I have already fell a couple of times and thank goodness I haven’t broken anything. I am so scared that something happened when I fell, but thankfully nothing has. I just want this all behind me already!!
I am having a problem with knowing that I have rods, screws, nails, and plates in me. I get so fearful of them and the doctors think that I am thinking too much of them. I am so afraid that something is going to happen with them, but the doctors said that I need to not think of those pieces in me. They say I just have to think that they are part of me. It’s hard to do that especially when they said to me and my dad that when they were operating that drilling screws into my bones was like drilling into butter.”
The PT people call me WOLVERINE now. I have had many nicknames such as “Energizer Bunny” because I keep going and going and nothing gets me down. But now they call me WOLVERINE because I am sooo strong with all the hardware that they put in me that I can’t break. The doctors literally drilled out my entire femur in the center and inserted a metal rod through the core. So I have a really strong left leg because the bone is around the rod and then I have plates and screws too. They call me that because its to get me over me thinking that I am so weak and going to break if I move because I am so scared that something is going to happen to the hardware.
Wanna hear something? I know this sounds bizerkus but it is soooo true. The PT end up putting this tape on me that really helps with the pain and helping me with the edema and making my walk more stable. I know it sounds weird how a piece of tape can do something like this, but it does. It has something to do with how they place this ‘magic’ tape and it really works. It’s amazing.
Besides that… nothing is really doing besides that. I am just trying to basically recover. My bloods have fallen further and even my blood count has fallen as well. I found out that this is partially due to the surgery because I lost a lot of blood during it.
I have so many appointments and treatments to undergo each week. Between Physical therapy 3 times a week because they are trying to break the scar tissue up and keeping me as limber as possible, going for ketamine every week, and going for surgery every week to clean out my intestines they don’t rupture and I don’t go into sepsis… there is never a dull moment. I need to have physical therapy because if scar tissue builds up and they don’t bend my knee (which I can’t bend right now), then I will also end up looking like a chicken leg. I also have to have my intestines cleaned nothing moves and if I don’t have them cleaned… toxins will continue to build up and I also risk rupturing my intestines and going into sepsis. I still need to go and have my colon removed, which would have been done if I didn’t have this accident happen.
My doctors can’t believe that I made it through the surgery and I am recovering. They never thought that I would. But… nothing gets me down. I am like the Energizer Battery… I keep going and going and going. Now I just have to get better so I can walk and get over my illnesses.
So I am really hoping that you will help me achieve that. Please help me get my message across because I desperately need help in receiving treatment that will not only get me better, but it will save my life. I also need help just in my current living situation such as having an aide because I can’t stay myself since I need so much help especially now, but unfortunately we can’t really afford it anymore and my insurance company isn’t helping. Insurance is great when you don’t have to use it.
So if you can please spread this message and tell others of my donation site (www.gofundme.com/help4Fallon), email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and let me know of any ideas that you can think of in getting to raise money for treatments, or even if you can personally make a donation, I would really appreciate it. Remember, no donation is too small and any amount (even $1) is much appreciated!!
Well… until next time. Thanks again for all your support and encouragement and prayers. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate it. It really has and does make a huge difference.